Dating Scams In Usa Duped In Person
According to the FTC, Americans lost $143 million to online dating scams in 2018, making digital dating scams the leading source of fraud in contemporary American life from a raw dollar-amount. If you’ve never heard of a romance scam, it’s a type of deception where scammers connect with people on legitimate dating apps, social networking sites, and chat rooms; stage fake romantic intentions to gain trust; and then leverage peoples’ goodwill to get money. Understand how romance scams work. Romance scams—also called online dating scams or love scams—start with a fraudster striking up a conversation and subsequent relationship with an unsuspecting person. While victims of romance scams tend to be middle-aged or older, anyone can be susceptible to fraud. Media scammers arrived with online dial-up modem years ago, conning people in chat rooms and email inboxes. Now Facebook inside Instagram provide fraudsters with greater reach and resources, duped them to more convincingly impersonate others scams more precisely target victims. Officials from the United States military and the F.
Download Article This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Jack Lloyd. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
The wikiHow Tech Team also followed the article's instructions and verified that they work.
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This wikiHow teaches you how to avoid being scammed on dating sites. Online dating scammers tend to target people who have a large amount of information in their profiles, and the scam is usually based around stealing money, credit card information, or personal information from the victim.
Steps
Part 1 of 2:Recognizing Scammers
Dating Scams In Usa Duped In Person Today
- 1Understand the driving principles behind scamming techniques. Scammers typically try to find people who seem vulnerable (e.g., widowers or single, older people). Once a scammer makes a connection with a victim, they will request money for an emergency (e.g., a hospital bill) or a circumstantial event (e.g., a plane ticket to come see you).
Tip: You can avoid the bulk of online dating scams by establishing a hard rule about not sending money to anyone you haven't met in person.
- 2Know that anyone can fall victim to a scam. While middle-aged widowers have traditionally been targets for online fraud, no online dating user is exempt from being targeted by scams on an international scale.Advertisement
- 3Look for typical scammer behavior. While no two scammers are identical, nearly all dating scammers will exhibit several of the following behaviors:[1]
- Early or inappropriate professions of love
- 4Review the person's profile. Common scammer profiles are modeled differently depending on whether they are male or female, but you'll usually see several of the following attributes if the person is a scammer:[2]XResearch source
- 6Check their photo for duplicates. Save a copy of their profile photo, then upload it to Google to search for other instances of it. If you see several other sites with the photo pop up in the results, then you know that—at the very least—they're not using their own photo.
- If you do determine that they're not using their own photo, consider calling them out. This may reveal more suspicious behavior.
- 7Look closely at their side of the conversation. When communicating, scammers' messages will be full of inconsistencies, often getting their own name or your name wrong. These messages may be badly written or repeat themselves. Watch for these other signs:
- Their command of language deteriorates with time. They may even start out having no clue about grammar or punctuation.
- They make mistakes in that their 'story' begins to contradict itself.
- Alternatively, they never provide any personal details about themselves.
- They mix pronouns (he/she, him/her).
- They mention things that seem entirely unrelated to the profile they've built up of themselves, or that seem too revealing and even unbelievable.
- 8Ask them to meet up. Scammers will never meet you in person, and they will usually express reluctance to do so when asked.
- If the person with whom you're talking either outright refuses to meet you or bails on your plans multiple times in a row, they're most likely a scammer.
- Alternatively, the person may ask you to pay for their ticket or means of transportation.
- 9Ask to contact the person via video or voice chat. If the person isn't willing to meet up, consider asking if you can contact them at their number (never your own) or via a voice- or video-chat app such as Skype. If they agree to this, pay attention to their tone and use of language; if their demeanor seems to contradict what you know about them, it's best to walk away.
- Again, if the person outright refuses to talk to you over an audio or video connection, they're most likely a scammer.
- 10Watch out for the catch. When scammers think they have you on their hook, they attempt to reel you in. This is usually when they will 'agree' to meet up or talk to you, but their plans to do so will usually be interrupted by a financial emergency.
- As a general rule, if the person to whom you're talking asks for money in any context, they're a scammer.
- Don't fall for phrases like 'For this to work, we both have to trust each other' or 'I thought you loved me'; this is a form of emotional manipulation.
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Part 2 of 2:Preventing Scams
- 1Keep your profile as private as possible. One of the first steps in making your profile scammer-proof is limiting the amount of information they can see. If possible, restrict your country/state/region, phone number, email address, job, and any other personal information from your public profile.
- Most services require you to display your age, a description, and a picture. Outside of those items, you should keep the rest of your profile blank.
- Scammers require quite a bit of information about you before they can attempt to reel you in, so limiting their leverage from the start decreases your odds of being targeted.
- 2Don't give potential scammers leverage over you. A common scam involves the scammer saving any risque photos, videos, and/or messages sent to them, uploading them to a public website, and using the uploaded content to blackmail the sender into paying them. As such, avoid sending messages that reveal who you are, at least at first.[4]
- Avoid sending photos or videos that show friends or family, or that give away your location.
- 3Keep your discussions on the dating site. If you're using a dating site that has a built-in chat option (as most do), your safest bet is to keep your conversations with the other person limited to the dating site's chat. If the other person suggests moving to email or texting, decline.
- This will usually allow your selected dating site to review the contents of your messages if you decide to report the other person as a scammer.
- Keeping discussions within the dating service will also allow you to block the person later (if needed) without having to block them in your email or on your phone as well.
- 4Avoid giving out your real phone number. If you must move the conversation over to your smartphone, don't tell the other person your number. This doesn't mean that you have to give someone a fake number; there are plenty of free mobile instant messaging services—WhatsApp, Skype, Google Voice, and Facebook Messenger are only a few examples—that can be used to message someone freely without having to compromise your real phone number.
- If the person to whom you're talking refuses to use any mode of conversation except your phone number, there's a decent chance that they're more interested in the number than in the conversation.
- 5Document your interactions with the person. If you suspect that the person with whom you're conversing is attempting to scam you, there are a few things that you can do to ensure that you have evidence against them:
- Refrain from deleting conversations or other forms of communication.
- Take screenshots of the conversations.
- 6Stop talking to the person if need be. There's nothing wrong with cutting off contact with someone, especially if you think that they might be a scammer. If you have a bad feeling after interacting with a person online, you don't owe them your time.
- Many dating sites will allow you to block the person to whom you're talking. As long as they don't have your email address or phone number, doing this will prevent them from being able to contact you at all.
- If the person becomes unreasonably outraged or sends threats your way, be sure to take screenshots and report the person's profile to the dating service.
- 7Report scams to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. If you do get scammed, you should file a complaint on the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center site at https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx by clicking File a Complaint and filling out the form.
- Naturally, you should also report the scammer to the site on which you were scammed.
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Help Spotting Scams
Community Q&A
Add New Question- Who do romance scammers target?Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.Relationship CoachScammers can target anyone. If you haven't met someone in person and they're saying, 'I love you,' there's a good chance they're a scammer, especially if they haven't made an effort to meet you. Another huge clue is when they say that they're working in another country, but that they need money to come to your country to visit you. Unfortunately, that's a common scam that affects a lot of people, even people who are very smart, intelligent, and successful.
- What should I do if a man asks for my full name and address so he can send me gifts from overseas?Community AnswerDon't do it. That is too much information for someone you don't know.
- How can I know if people are scammers online?Community AnswerPay careful attention to whether there are any inconsistencies in their stories. Also, beware of anyone who addresses you with 'Dear...' Most scammers do this.
- Should I trust my gut when speaking to a someone through an online dating service?Community AnswerYou shouldn't trust anybody online until you have met them in person. This is especially for dating sites.
- How do I get more pictures of someone online who I think might be a scammer?Community AnswerMake this a condition for you two to talk any further. If you pursue this conditional stance, and the other person gets mad or says he's hurt, walk away.
- My online suitor for eight months would like to transfer his account from another country to my account. It's a big amount. I haven't met the guy before. I don't believe he could easily trust me since we met only online. Is there a sign of fraud in this?Community AnswerHe would need your account info. Once he has that, he can withdraw money from your account. Have him open an account with your bank, and transfer the money to that account. Once that is done, and in time, he can add you to that account. Once you see that all is good, then you could have him transfer it to your account, but I would encourage you to keep separate bank accounts, just in case things don't work out. My gut though, is telling me he is a very patient scammer.
- Can they still be scamming you even if they don't ask for money? Do they contact you once you call them scammers?Community AnswerSome scammers find ways to get your money without asking for it. Some scammers will disappear if you call them scammers, but some will try to convince you otherwise.
- Should I trust a girl who won't give me her phone number or let me see her Facebook account?Community AnswerIf she contacted you first that might be a red flag, but if you contacted her first, she might be trying to be cautious. Look for other signs.
- How long should you communicate on site before giving someone your number?Community AnswerOnline isn't the best place to hand over your number. Suggest a meet-up in a public place instead.
- I have a friend that uses a dating site and the women he's speaking to lied about their age. Now apparently her father is making threats to him unless he sends money via Western Union. The phone number is on the other side of the states and she is threatening to get the law is involved. What should he do?Community AnswerHe should report this threat to the site and see what they do. Then, it's best to get him to tell police or another family member on the issue because he is a victim of extortion. Help him to see he is not the one in the wrong.
Tips
- Unfortunately, encountering online scammers is a very real possibility. Romance scams are the leading cause of lost money due to scams, and somewhere around 12 percent of people who use online dating have reported running into a scammer.[5]Thanks!Searching for a person on job sites like LinkedIn may help you find the person (or people) on which a scammer is basing their profile.Thanks!Certain speech patterns could indicate that they are a scammer. Poor English and nonsense words indicate that they probably aren't in the United States.Thanks!Advertisement
Warnings
- Remember the Golden Rule of online interaction: if it sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true.Thanks!
- Never give out your dating service account password. Even employees of the dating service will not ask for your password.Thanks!
- Do not accept packages or payments from potential scammers, as doing so may involve you in money laundering.[6]
About This Article
Relationship CoachThis article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Jack Lloyd. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. This article has been viewed 1,147,735 times.96 votes - 96%Updated: December 19, 2021Categories: Online DatingArticle SummaryDating Scams In Usa Duped In Person Free
XTo spot an online dating scammer, look out for any request for money or personal information such as your home address or bank details, since this is a sign they’re trying to extort money out of you. If they say they’ve fallen in love with you before you’ve met or even had a phone call, this is also a good indication that a scammer is trying to manipulate you. Ask them to video chat or talk on the phone, so you can prove their identity. If their grammar is poor or they contradict themselves, be skeptical of them, since scammers are often foreign and struggle to maintain their story. Try downloading any images they use and uploading them to Google image search, since many scammers steal people’s photos from the internet. For more tips, including how to report someone you think is a scammer, read on!
Did this summary help you?In other languagesEspañol:descubrir a un estafador en páginas de citasItaliano:Individuare un Truffatore sui Siti d'Incontri OnlineРусский:вычислить мошенника в знакомствах через интернетFrançais:reconnaitre un arnaqueur sur un site de rencontre
Nederlands:Een nepprofiel op een datingsite herkennenBahasa Indonesia:Mengetahui Ciri Ciri Penipu di Kencan DaringDating Scams In Usa Duped In Person Search
Tiếng Việt:Nhận diện một kẻ lừa đảo khi hẹn hò qua mạngالعربية:التنبه للمخادعين على مواقع المواعدةहिन्दी:ऑनलाइन डेटिंग स्कैमर की पहचान करें (Spot online dating scammer)Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,147,735 times.Reader Success Stories
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AdvertisementWith just a few swipes, the internet can give you access to a limitless dating pool. While being swept off their feet, some become victims, unwittingly swindled out of money.
In 2020 alone, online dating scams cost Americans a record $304 million—up about 50% from 2019, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) reported. The isolation during the pandemic and the increasing popularity of online dating sites and apps are to blame for the rise, the FTC reports.
Besides the financial damage, there are emotions victims must contend with—shame, embarrassment and even depression—in the aftermath of being duped. Here’s how to outsmart a romance scammer.
Understand how romance scams work
Romance scams—also called online dating scams or love scams—start with a fraudster striking up a conversation and subsequent relationship with an unsuspecting person. While victims of romance scams tend to be middle-aged or older, anyone can be susceptible to fraud.
The pandemic has been perfect breeding grounds for romance scammers, as it limited the ability of Americans to meet would-be lovers in person.
The intent behind the relationship is to form an emotional bond with the victim so that person is willing to perform favors. Victims may be asked to send money for hotel stays, medical bills, travel documents or airfare, but in reality, the con artist uses the cash for personal gain.
In 2020, the median reported loss per victim from romance scams was $2,500. And people 70 and older reported the highest individual median losses at $9,476, the FTC says. Nearly 33,000 Americans were bilked of cash in romance scams last year, nearly triple the reports from 2016.
How to outsmart a romance scammer
Unfortunately, protection against romance scammers largely lies with you: Rarely are these online Casanovas caught or prosecuted.
“Most of the people doing this are not in the United States,” said Steve Baker, an international investigations specialist with the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and author of the study “How Scammers Use Impersonation, Blackmail, and Trickery to Steal from Unsuspecting Daters.”
“First you have to find the person, then you have extradite them to do time—and it doesn’t happen very often.”
To guard yourself against these dating site scams, know the signs to look for and consider these tips and precautions:
- Run a background check search. Comb through social media profiles for inconsistencies in their story. Run a people search to see if you can unearth more information on the individual. You can also perform a reverse image search to see if the photos the person is using belong to someone else.
- Don’t send money or receive money. Be wary if someone asks you to send cash, wire transfers or gift cards. In 2020, the FTC reported a 70% increase in use of gift cards in romance scams. Receiving money can be just as dangerous. If you receive fraudulent funds, you could find yourself on the wrong side of the law for depositing bad checks or laundering dirty money.
- Don’t ship items or goods. Scammers may ask for valuables instead of cash. They could be using goods to resell to other people for money.
- Don’t open a new bank account. A scammer may ask you to open a bank account or ask for access to your current bank account to deposit bad checks or wire fraudulent funds. Do not accept a commission for transferring money or sending cashier’s checks to unknown addresses.
- Never give out personal information or photos. Personal information could be used to make purchases or to open accounts on your behalf. Don’t give a stranger your address, Social Security number, driver’s license or any other identifying information. Private images could be used for blackmail.
- Gut check with your friends and family. Sometimes you aren’t able to see the forest for the trees when you’re emotionally vested in a relationship, even when it’s a fraudulent one.
Wayne May, founder of the online education and support group ScamSurvivors, said the type of romance scam often provides clues about the location of the scammer. For example, scammers from Russia and the Ukraine have been known to ask for money to pay for airline tickets or visa applications. Meanwhile, con artists from Nigeria often pose as businessmen and CEOs, and even set up fake banks or shipping companies to swindle victims out of money, according to May.
Types of online dating scams
While the tactics may differ, there are several dating scam formats that follow a well-worn criminal playbook. “[Scammers] are profiling you without you even realizing it,” said Kari-Anne Liebling, a romance scam survivor who works alongside May at ScamSurvivors. Scammers do their homework over days, weeks or even months to figure out what type of scam you’ll respond to. These are among the popular schemes to look out for:
Military romance scams
Scammers pose as service members stationed abroad. After forming a relationship with their target, the scammer asks for funds to take care of expenses, such as travel, medical care or other needs. Liebling, who lives in Austria, thought she fell in love with an American soldier fighting in Iraq—until he began asking her for money to pay for his son’s medical bills. She traced his email address back to Ghana. And Liebling isn’t alone. The U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command (CID) receives hundreds of complaints a month from people who’ve been duped by scammers posing as U.S. soldiers.
Social media, dating site and gaming site scams
Romances that start on social media, dating or gaming sites may begin innocently enough, with two people “meeting” online, but a scammer may pose as a lovelorn widower or someone who is in a vulnerable position. They work to gain your trust and sympathy so they can start asking for money and other favors. Watch out for unsavory actors who claim they’ve been robbed or have fallen ill. Victims report being asked to send hundreds or thousands of dollars to “help” individuals who need money after a robbery or a hospital stay.
International romance scams
Someone running an international romance scam may also meet you on a social media or dating site, but their underlying strategy is claiming to be a successful entrepreneur. These international men (and women) of mystery use work and business meetings as excuses for never being able to meet you in person, but that won’t stop them from asking you for money to invest in their “business” once you’ve developed a relationship.
Internet dating scam victims may also become money mules if they deposit fraudulent funds or deliver packages containing drugs for their scammer. One female victim interviewed by the FBI met a man on a dating site. He tried to wire her $250,000, which he then asked her to transfer to other accounts. The practice of transferring money through multiple channels can be used by criminals to conceal their identity while moving cash around the world.
Sextortion scams
Dating Scams In Usa Duped In Person List
In a sextortion scam, someone will use sexual images or videos that you have shared with them for blackmail. The scammer may threaten to send pictures to loved ones or to your employer unless you send money or perform other sexual acts against your will.
How to recognize online dating scams
Someone who uses professional-looking modeling photos on their free dating site profile should set off an alarm right from the get-go, said May. If you’ve already been swept up in a whirlwind online romance and have a feeling that things are just too good to be true, they might just be. Here are red flags that someone might be trying to scam you:
- A tragic story brings you together. A scammer may say they’ve experienced divorce, death or sickness to tug at your heartstrings and build a connection with you. The scammer positions themselves as a victim and you as their soulmate to gain your affection.
- It’s a whirlwind romance. The relationship moves faster than usual, especially for a relationship that has never been physically consummated. He or she may text or email you several times a day, and the conversations sound like they might be straight out of a romance novel.
- A real-life date never happens. Fraudsters may come up with tall tales to explain why they can’t meet up. Even if airplane tickets are booked and plans are made, the person will find a last-minute reason to cancel.
- There are few photos on their profile. A con artist who steals photos to use on social media and dating profiles may only have a handful of pictures. They may also refuse to video chat with you to hide their true identity.
- The person tries to isolate you from family and friends. The scammer doesn’t want anyone close to you to question the relationship. They may try to put a wedge between you and loved ones so they can continue the fraud.
- English may not be their first language. Some romance scams are carried out by non-native English speakers. The tell: email or text messages that feature poor grammar, misspellings or incorrect word usage.
What to do if you’ve been scammed
If you suspect you may have been scammed, “Stop talking to them right away and don’t confront them,” said May. When confronted, con artists can come up with what seem like valid excuses, which makes it harder to untangle from their web of lies. There are also some immediate steps experts recommend you take:
- Change your phone number and email address. Break all communication. Criminals often keep “sucker lists” of victims that they then try to contact again with different types of scams, said Liebling.
- File a report. File a complaint with the FBI and the FTC. You can also search for your state attorney general here and file a complaint. Many of these crimes go unpunished, but filing a complaint can still help law enforcement in their efforts to crack down on online scammers.
- Report the profile. File a complaint or report fraudulent profiles on the social media platform or dating site that you’re using.
- Keep a record of your communication. If the scammer is brought to justice, the communication between you two could be used as evidence in a court of law.
- Take a break from the internet. The emotional impact of being scammed can be long-lasting. Speak with someone if you’re struggling to come to terms with what has happened, and take an internet hiatus.
- Beware of new scams. Someone who’s fallen for one scam may be targeted for other scams. Take a long, hard look at all of your other online interactions.
Online dating scams can be both financially and emotionally devastating. To avoid falling victim to one, it never hurts to guard your heart—and your bank account—from people you haven’t ever met in real life.