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As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air — and romance scams are apparently everywhere.

According to the FTC, the reports of these online scams have nearly tripled in the past years, and in 2019 alone victims lost around $201 million from being swindled by their cyber sweetheart. This just grazes the surface of online dating scam statistics.

We’ve rounded up 20 dating scams to consider, as well as romance-scammer-avoidance pointers to help ensure your love at first swipe or click is legit.

What is a romance scam?

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A romance scam, also known as an online dating scam, is when a person is tricked into believing they’re in a romantic relationship with someone they met online. In fact, their “other half” is a cybercriminal using a fake identity to gain enough of their victim’s trust to ask — or blackmail — them for money.

Often, the advances start on dating sites or apps. But they’ve increasingly begun on social media, too.

20 online dating scam statistics

The unfortunate truth is that all too many people have been a part of this love story that never ends in a happily ever after. Some of the proof is in these online dating scam statistics.

Romance scams on the rise

Many
  1. About half of all romance scam reports to the FTC since 2019 involve social media, usually on Facebook or Instagram. Interestingly, in the first six months of 2020 people reported a record high of losing almost $117 million to scams that started on social media. (FTC, October 2020)
  2. The number of romance scams people report to the FTC has nearly tripled since 2015. (FTC, February 2020)
  3. In 2019, more than 25,000 consumers filed a report with the FTC about romance scams. (FTC, February 2020)
  4. Confidence/romance scams were the second most reported crime to the FBI in 2019. (FBI 2019 Internet Crime Report)
  5. Nearly 20,000 people fell victim to confidence/romance scams in 2019. (FBI 2019 Internet Crime Report)

The real price tags of online dating

6. Total reported losses to romance scams were higher than any other scam reported to the FTC in 2019. (FTC, February 2020)

7. In 2019, people reported losing $201 million to romance scams. That’s six times higher than it was five years prior, at $33 million in 2015. (FTC, February 2020)

8. In 2018, the median individual loss to a romance scam was reportedly $2,600. (FTC, February 2019)

9. In 2018, the median individual loss to a romance scam was seven times higher than the median loss across all other fraud types. (FTC, February 2019)

10. Cryptocurrency scams tied romance scams for the highest median dollars lost at $3,000. (BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report)

11. Confidence/romance scams cost victims upward of $475 million in 2019. (FBI 2019 Internet Crime Report)

Online dating scams and older adults

12. Romance scams are riskiest to people in the 55 - 64 age group. (BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report)

13. Older adults reportedly lost nearly $84 million in romance scams in 2019, followed by government imposter scams at $61 million, and prizes, sweepstakes, and lottery scams at $51 million. (FTC 2019 - 2020 Protecting Older Consumers Report)

14. In 2019, 68% of the dollars reported lost on romance scams by older adults were sent by wire transfer. (FTC 2019 - 2020 Protecting Older Consumers Report)

15. Wire transfers sent in connection with romance scams accounted for about $46 million, nearly a third of the dollars older adults reported wiring to scammers. (FTC 2019 - 2020 Protecting Older Consumers Report)

Who’s most susceptible to romance scams

16. Romance scams have a 54% susceptibility risk to their targets. (BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report)

17. Women are more susceptible to romance scams than men. And following employment scams, romance scams are the second riskiest scam type to women. (BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report)

18. The Midwest is most susceptible to romance scams, with the median loss per individual amounting to $115. (BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report)

19. Californians lost the most to dating scams in 2018 at $450 million, followed by New Yorkers, Texans, Floridians, and North Carolinians. (NPR)

20. Californians were the most caught up in dating scams in 2018, with 49,000 people scammed, followed by Texans, Floridians, New Yorkers, and Virginians. (NPR)

Warning signs: Lies romance scammers tell

How can you tell if someone is a romance scammer? Well, you probably have a sense for what's considered normal behavior online. But it might be hard to see through an online dating scam when emotions are involved.

Here are some telltale signs a cybercriminal may be up to more than just sweeping you off your feet.

They’re far, far away

One of the first giveaways of a romance scammer is their background. Fakers often pose as someone who is stationed abroad to create a reason for why they can't meet in person. Some common stories include:

  • They’re working on an oil rig.
  • They’re in the military or deployed overseas.
  • They’re a doctor in an international organization.
  • They’re working on a construction project outside the U.S.

Since their story is so interesting, be sure to keep a close eye on any inconsistencies in it.

Their profile seems too good to be true

A legitimate dating profile usually has plenty of photos of the person in different situations, with one or two that show the person's whole body, not just part of their face. The individual might also include links to their Instagram or Facebook accounts.

In contrast, a dating profile might be fake if the person doesn't list any details. Or maybe their interests and hobbies just about exactly match yours — the similarities might be too good to be true.

The relationship moves fast

Romance scammers want to act fast before their targets catch on to their antics. For this reason, they like to gain your trust right away. Some common approaches include:

  • They profess their love to you surprisingly quickly.
  • They ask you to marry them.
  • They make a promise you will see one another.
  • They ask to move communications off of the dating site — neither of you are seeing other people anyway, right?

How Many Online Dating Sites In Usa Compared

Many online dating sites offer some type of safety features and if you move your conversation off them to talk using text messages or other chat options, you lose those safety measures. Plus, the person will have your phone number, which could make it harder to cut communication.

In any event, it’s a good idea to pay attention to your conversations and consider the following red flags:

  • The person’s messages look like they could be copy-and-pasted into any conversation.
  • The conversation doesn't flow or make sense.
  • Grammar and spelling are way off.

They break promises to visit

Romance scammers want to keep their identities a secret. One way to keep you from questioning their identity is to promise to come visit. They may even have you pay for plane tickets or other travel costs. But they'll cancel at the last minute, providing an elaborate reason for why they can't see you after all.

They claim they need money

If your online love interest asks you for money and you haven’t even met them, beware. A romance scammer may ask you to send money for things like:

  • travel expenses like a plane ticket or a visa/passport
  • medical expenses like surgeries
  • gambling debts

And they usually have a sob story to back up their request.

An alternate money scam to watch for: They may send you money! This could rope you into a 'money mule' scheme, whereby the scammer asks to deposit money into your bank account, distribute the funds to other people, or deliver packages. In fact, these requests could be tied to money-laundering.

They ask for specific payment methods

Be cautious if your cyber sweetheart asks you to send them money via:

  • wire transfer
  • preloaded gift cards
  • a newly-established bank account in your name

These are ways to get cash quickly and remain anonymous. Plus, the transactions are hard to reverse. Once you send a little bit of money, they might even ask for more. If you say “no,” their messages may get desperate and aggressive.

10 tips to avoid romance scammers and protect yourself

Online dating scams can often end with victims losing money and, in some cases, even being pulled into criminal activity. Besides the financial costs, there may be emotional costs, too. You may feel heartbroken, depressed, or embarrassed after someone you trusted scammed you.

That's why it's important to know how to outsmart a romance scammer and how to act fast if you think you’ve been scammed.

1. Be aware of the warning signs

Simply knowing how a romance scammer operates can help you identify and avoid one. Remember some of the red flags and lies romance scammers tell:

  • They’re far, far away.
  • Their profile seems too good to be true.
  • The relationship moves fast.
  • They break promises to visit.
  • They claim they need money.
  • They ask for specific payment methods.

2. Evaluate your online presence

A few basic cybersecurity best practices can help protect you against internet scams. Consider that the more you share, the more scammers know about you — and know how to lure you.

For this reason, consider keeping your online dating profiles anonymous by using different usernames on sites or even different emails to protect your privacy. Also, be careful what you make public online on social media.

3. Approach online relationships slowly

The internet is an incredible place for community, developing friendships, and sometimes even relationships. But it’s always important to take these relationships slowly, vet your new companions thoroughly, and be wary if answers don’t add up.

4. Set up a phone or video chat early

Seeing someone’s face can be a sure-fire way to determine whether they’re real or fake. For this reason, set up a phone or video chat early on in your communications with an online love interest. If they dodge the opportunity, they may be a romance scammer.

5. Don’t send compromising pictures

Never send compromising photos or videos of yourself to someone, especially if you haven’t met them in person. These could be used as blackmail later.

6. Do your own snooping, like a reverse image search

In the age of social media and online dating, everyone has a digital presence waiting to be viewed. Do your homework on your cyber sweetheart by viewing their social media profiles. If their profile is pretty bare or they have no connections, take it a step further with a reverse image search to see whether their photos were used on other sites. To do this:

  1. Right-click an image of the person.
  2. Click “copy.”
  3. Visit images.google.com and paste the image.

Google will show you the websites where the image appears online. If it shows up on a stock photo site or seems to belong to someone else entirely, then it could be part of a scam.

7. Never pay someone you haven’t met, especially someone online

Don't give out your financial information, top off a cash reload card, or send gifts or money to someone you haven't met face to face. Never wire money to a stranger or pay anyone with gift cards.

8. If they ask for help, refer them elsewhere

Especially if your other cyber half is located outside of the U.S., be sure to refer them to a U.S. consulate or embassy if they ask for help or money. It’s a reasonable response.

9. Ask someone you trust for a second opinion

When your emotions run deeply with someone, it may be hard to face the reality that they’re not who you think they are. If you ever have an inkling you’re caught up in an online dating scam, step back and ask a trusted friend or family member to give a second opinion about your relationship. They may see some warning signs you didn’t.

Dating

10. Stop communicating and report the incident

If you’re suspicious or sure that you’re being scammed, cut off communication immediately, block their phone number or email, if possible, and report the activity.

How to report an online dating scam

It may be nearly impossible to recover money after you've been scammed. But reporting these incidents helps federal investigators look for commonalities and may help lead them to perpetrators.

For these reasons, take the following steps if you suspect you’ve been scammed:

  1. Contact your bank right away, if you’ve sent money.
  2. Collect any records you have of your online relationship, including conversations and transactions.
  3. File a police report.
  4. Report the incident to:
    1. the FTC at ftc.gov/complaint
    2. the FBI at ic3.gov
    3. the dating site, if the scam started here

Falling in love can be great. But before you let someone steal your heart online, keep these romance scam warning signs and online dating pointers top of mind.

After all, you don’t want your love story to end in a cybercrime — everyone deserves a happily ever after.

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HomeDating in USATOP 10: Best Dating Sites in the USA (2020)

What are the best dating sites in the USA in 2020?

To that question, there’s no one answer..

It really depends on who you are:

  • Are you, for example, 22 or 57 years old?
  • Looking for a serious relationship, one-night stand or maybe just new friends..?
  • Your ethnicity, education, religion and sexual orientation might also play a role in choosing the right site.

There are dating sites for everyone and Datermeister – the He-Man of the Dating Universe – is here to guide you to the dating site which is right for you.

And by the way:

How many online dating sites in usa compared

Even though everyone is talking about dating apps like Tinder, truth is that most people have MUCH better success on the good old dating sites.

So get ready to score yourself a date – here’s our list of 10 best US dating sites – with a brief introduction to each one.

And be sure to read until the end because we’ve got a few more bonus niche dating sites + 7 quick tips to get a successful start in online dating.

Let’s start with the TOP 10:

1. Match.com – probably the best dating site in the USA?

Match.com – the Mickey D’s of online dating – has been around since the mid-1990’s. So it’s probably older than some of you reading this.

It is probably the best dating site in the USA to get started – no matter what your background is. It’s for all ages (as long as you’re 18 or over), all ethnicities, religious backgrounds and so on..

Match.com gets over 40 million visitors each month so you will not run out of singles profiles and pictures to browse through!*. But, is Match’s time already over in 2020? Are there better sites out there? Keep reading our list of American dating sites to find out:

2. EliteSingles.com – best for 30+ educated and successful singles

EliteSingles.com is a perfect place to meet educated and/or career driven singles.

The site was launched in the US in late 2016 but has become extremely popular among singles who are looking for a high class dating site. Now, in 2020, the EliteSingles.com site attracts over 1 million visitors per month!*

When you join the site, you fill out a personality test. Once it’s done, you will see some partner suggestions who are the most suitable for you. Even studies show that people with the same level of education and/or values form longer lasting and happier relationships. So this site is definitely worth a try if you want to find your true soulmate.

It’s not for everyone, though:

We would recommend it if you’re around 30 or over and have a higher education level. Or maybe you’re a self made man or woman and want to meet other successful and ambitious singles? EliteSingles is for people who know what they want and don’t want to play around on the free dating sites.

Read also our Elite Singles Review (2020)

Another big user group on this site seem to be the 50+ and 60+ singles who are conquering online dating sites faster than ever. EliteSingles.com is definitely a great choice for an overall more mature online dating experience.

3. POF – most popular and best FREE dating site in USA?

POF.com aka PlentyOfFish is one of the most popular dating sites in the United States. The site gets a whopping 100+ million* visitors per month.

Why is it so popular?

Probably the biggest reason is that it’s completely free to use. At first this sounds like an awesome deal, right? Sure, you should definitely go check it out if you’re looking for a 100 % free dating site in the US.

But remember that free online dating sites usually attract a lot of not-so-serious people who are just playing around (or even scammers). Also women get tons of approaches by guys on free sites. So you guys out there – you have to put some serious effort in your dating profile AND in your first message when approaching the ladies.

4. SilverSingles – best dating site in the USA for 50+ singles?

SilverSingles.com is only for singles over 50.

Of course the other sites on this list also have tons of over 50-year-olds but SilverSingles.com caters only to the mature men and women. And there truly is a demand for sites like this. The 50+ crowd have been the fastest growing user group on online dating sites in the USA for the last 5-10 years in our estimations.

Read also: Top 5 Dating Sites for people over 50!

SilverSingles.com has a nice and clean website design and it’s easy to use. Upon joining you will fill out a personality test which is then used to find the best matching partner candidates for you. It is definitely our pick also for the best dating site for seniors. There is no age limit on the online dating sites so no matter how old you are, it’s time to turn your swag on and get dating again!

5. eharmony – best US dating site to find your true soul mate?

eharmony.com is definitely one of the best dating sites in USA. It is only for singles who are looking for something a bit more serious and more meaningful connections with other people.

When you join the site, you fill out a personality test. The results are then used to match you with users who are the best matches for you. It’s developed by experts in psychology who really know what a good relationship is made of. Just by filling out the test you will maybe get some “aha moments” about what to look for in a relationship. Eharmony is therefore probably the best dating site for serious relationships.

And they even give a guarantee for the matches they offer you in the first 3 months. If you’re not satisfied, you get 3 months more for FREE. Their site gets over 5 million visitors per month so you truly have an excellent chance of meeting someone special.

Many

6. ChristianMingle.com – best dating site for Christian singles?

ChristianMingle.com is probably the best dating site in the USA for Christian singles. The website gets over 1 million visitors per month so you will have tons of profiles to go through!

As you might agree, it can be difficult to meet singles with Christian values in todays world. But you are not alone. You can meet other Christian singles on the mainstream sites such as Match or you can go on the christian only dating sites. And probably the biggest and best dating site for Christians is the good old Christian Mingle.

7. BlackPeopleMeet.com – biggest dating site for black singles in the US

BlackPeopleMeet.com has become extremely popular among black singles in America.

There are around 40 million African Americans in the US so there definitely is a big market for black dating sites. While Match.com and other mainstream sites have a lot of black singles, here on BlackPeopleMeet.com you don’t have to be guessing what ethnicity the other singles are interested in. BlackPeopleMeet.com gets around 5 million site visitors per month and that’s a LOT. So no matter if you’re in a big or a smaller city, there should be a good amount of men and women on this site for you.

BlackPeopleMeet.com also have a dating app to go with the same log in details where you can see profiles and either like/dislike them in the same style as in Tinder.

Register for free at BlackPeopleMeet.com

8. AdultFriendFinder – best dating site in USA for hook ups

Are you single or in a relationship and want just sexual adventures?

If yes, AdultFriendFinder.com is probably your best bet.

When you join this site, you know that everyone is there for the same reason – to get laid. Or at least to get some sexual action going on through your screen. You can search for users according to their physical appearance, location and even fetishes. So there’s no need for chit chat about your favorite color or TV series, here you can go straight to the point.

But is AdultFriendFinder legit? Often these adult dating sites can be a bit “scammy”. Well, as always, you shouldn’t immediately trust all users (anyone can put up a fake photo) but:

AFF has been around since 1996 and today, in 2020, the site gets over 60 million visitors each month! And in the US alone around 40+ million. So it is an extremely popular adult dating site for singles, swingers and even people who are already in a relationship.

9. OkCupid – a free site for a bit more “alternative” and younger crowd

OkCupid is another popular and free dating site in the US.

Although they get tens of millions of visitors on the site per month, it’s still a bit more of an alternative or “hipster” kind of dating site. It’s also good for people who have less mainstream sexual orientations or they feel that they represent a different gender.

How Many Online Dating Sites In Usa List

You can also search for singles in other countries as OkCupid is popular in Canada and Europe as well. They also have a well functioning dating app (which is rarely the case when dating sites try to make an app to go with their main site).

On OkCupid you can get started for free (and send messages to other people) and if you want more features, they will cost you a bit of money.

10. SingleParentMeet.com – you guessed it – a dating site for single moms and dads

SingleParentMeet.com is one of the best dating sites in the US for single parents.

Now, of course on the mainstream sites you can also search with filters regarding if the person has kids or not. But on this site, you can be sure that everyone “is OK” with the fact that you have kids.

SingleParentMeet.com is a legit dating site which gets an estimated 2 million site visitors per month in the US. That’s a nice number for a niche dating site. But with todays divorce rates, there are millions of single parents out there who want to DATE!

So go and register, and organize yourself a date with some hot mom or dad.

A few more sites for niche dating in the USA:

Ok, so we just squeezed the best dating sites in USA in to a TOP 10 list. But there’s more:

If you are looking for more of “niche” dating sites, there are literally thousands of smaller niche dating sites in USA. Here’s a few tips on what’s out there:

  • Jewish dating sites: JDate.com is probably the most popular US dating site for Jewish singles
  • Muslim dating sites: there are several muslim dating sites – for example muslima.com is popular both in the USA and internationally
  • Hispanic dating: you could check out AmoLatina.com – it’s a popular latino dating site in the US and South America.
  • Spiritual dating: if you want to meet other open minded and spiritual singles, probably SpiritualSingles.com is your choice.
  • Farmer dating: finding a partner that is suitable for the farmer lifestyle can be tough in today’s world. But, FarmersOnly.com is an extremely popular dating site in the US attracting millions of visitors each month.
  • Gay and lesbian dating sites: of course there is Grindr – the father of all dating apps – for gay guys. But if you’re gay or lesbian and want to find a bit more serious dating site, your best bet is usually Match.com. Just choose the gender you are looking for and you are ready to mingle!

There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of different dating sites in America but we will not expand this list any further.

And remember: the mainstream sites – such as Match.com – also have filters to search for singles with a certain religion, ethnicity, profession and so on. So we recommend starting on the TOP 10 sites and then proceeding to the niche dating sites if you don’t find interesting people on the mainstream sites.

7 quick tips to succeed on dating sites

We won’t go too deep in to the subject of how to succeed on dating sites but here’s 7 quick tips which you should skim through before you get started:

#1: Add a profile photo

First, a question to you:

Would you yourself answer to a person who has no photo on a dating site?

Probably not, right?

Add a profile photo and you will get 10 times more messaging going on with other users. This is a common mistake, especially for men. Just look in your (digital) photo albums for some nice photos from your last holiday for example (activity photos work like a charm!)

#2: On your profile text remember just 2 main rules:

When you fill your profile text, explain who you are and what you enjoy in life. Secondly, describe what you are looking for and what kind of people you are hoping to meet or enjoy being around with.

Often when we’re looking through dating sites we see people just talking about themselves. So, just write something about what kind of people you want to meet. Then it’s much easier for the reader to identify with you and maybe they’ll approach you!

#3: Keep the tone positive

When you’re writing your profile text, concentrate on positives rather than negatives. Example: Write what you like in other people and don’t make a list of what you DON’T like. Positivity always attracts more people than negativity.

#4: Send interesting and engaging first messages

As a general rule for dating sites and apps:

How Many Online Dating Sites In Usa Without Payment

Don’t just send a simple ”hello” or ”what’s up?” as a first message.

Instead, comment on something you saw on the person’s profile or at least mention their name in your message.. often people send these ”mass messages” to many people which don’t feel very personal. Just try complimenting some of their photos or asking something specific about what they wrote in their profile. When you ask something specific (and not just a vague “how’s it going?”), there’s a much higher chance of getting a reply.

#5: Go on a date quickly (rather than chatting forever)

Don’t hesitate to go on a ”real” date soon after getting to know someone online. Sometimes people can chat forever on dating sites and even fall in love via the keyboard, but then in real life, the chemistry is missing. Just go for a coffee in a public place without stressing too much about it.

But, remember also this next point:

#6: Safety (don’t fall for romance scams on dating sites!)

On the internet anyone can pretend to be something they are not. Especially on free dating sites (such as POF) there can be a lot of scammers around. Or on the dating sites which are for a bit older crowd. If someone asks for money, never ever send anything. People can fake their photo and their whole life story. In certain parts of the world there are professional romance scammers who do this as a full-time “job”. They make you fall in love with them, then they make up a story about an accident or some emergency, then they ask you to send them money. Don’t fall for these scams. Usually the safest bet is to talk to local singles who are up for a date in a neutral and safe place such as a café or a bar.

#7: Be patient

Even if your first or third or seventh date fails, don’t quit.

It’s not easy finding the right one so don’t get too frustrated. Don’t get cynical, keep talking to people and keep going on dates with a positive mind. You’ll hit the jackpot eventually when you stay patient and positive!

Conclusion

Are you ready to crush your single status?

Scroll back up and start joining the sites which fit you the best. You can try many of them – it just takes a minute or two to join each one so why not try?

Right now, in the beginning of 2020, Datermeister’s favorite is EliteSingles.com – especially if you are over with the shallow atmosphere of Tinder and you’re looking for something a bit more serious.

But, now it’s your turn. What is the best dating site in the USA and why? Leave a comment below.

*source for website traffic statistics: Similarweb.com